The holidays are always a time of joy and excitement, but they can also be a time of escalated stress and overwhelm—but then enters all that is 2020, and who knows what they might bring this year! Am I right?!
Regardless of what this holiday season has in store for us this year, we know that these three things are essential in order for your marriage to maintain its health.
Let’s start with PRIORITIES. You have to know what you prioritize as a couple and as individuals. In order to do that, you’re going to have to make a time to sit down and discuss these things. At the end of this blog, go grab your copy of Important Holiday Conversations, and we’ll help you with that.
The reality is, if you don’t know what your priorities are during the holidays, then it’s pretty much a guarantee that you won’t be prioritizing any of them. This is going to lead to a lot of frustration and unfulfillment. However, when you can vocalize your priorities, you can then, together, strategize, and therefore be sure to keep first things first. This is a must because there’s nothing worse than a holiday season that is filled with hardly anything that you value!
Now, let’s move on to EXPECTATIONS—otherwise known as what we like to refer to as premeditated resentments. Expectations are those things that you have strong beliefs about--like believing that thing will happen, or that person will do that. When it comes to holidays, statistically speaking, the wives feel like the burden of pulling off a good holiday season falls completely on them, which means there’s likely a lot of unmet expectations on the other end of that.
Another big thing with expectations is the ones we often put on ourselves. It’s not difficult to spend the holidays exhausting ourselves while we run around doing all the things that we feel are expected of us. You can avoid a lot of that stress by bringing those things to light in advance and talking them through together. Again, we’re going to help you do that, so don’t worry!
Lastly, let’s wrap it up with this thing we like to call BOUNDARIES. Such a cringy, scary word isn’t it? Aren’t boundaries those things people get mad at you for? Well, sometimes, but the truth is, those people who get mad at you for having them are the exact people you likely need to have them for. So, there’s that.
But really, boundaries actually have nothing to do with other people. Boundaries have everything to do with YOU. They are a way of saying what you are ok and not ok with—they are how you protect your family, your peace and your well-being. People who love and respect you will get that, and actually should encourage it.
Boundaries can get especially tricky around the holidays when parents get upset you’re not coming home for Christmas, or when you can’t go to 3 different family members houses for Thanksgiving, or when you just can’t afford to buy cousin Johnny, who you really don’t even know, a gift.
Boundaries are essential during the holidays and it is important that you create them together as a husband and wife. Together, you need to do what you need to do to protect your family and make sure you have the holiday that fits who you are as a family.
As you move forward in creating PRIORITIES, EXPECTATIONS, and BOUNDARIES, let us come with you and guide the way. Down below, go ahead and get your copy of Important Holiday Conversations and let us help you navigate these essentials, so you can have the holiday that you desire.